Don't Get Me Wrong....

I should start by saying that I don't have a terrible life. Not at all. I am thankful for so many things in my life.

I am thankful for my Husband - we have been married for 11 years now and everyday I am thankful that he chose to marry me! I am really not the easiest person to live with at times.
I am thankful that he has opened up my world to some wonderful experiences - without him I would never thought to travel overseas - before I met him I didn't even own a passport. Travelling the world with him has been awesome.
He also looks after me in many ways - he cooks yummy healthy dinners, and then he even cleans up, he fills my hot water bottle on a cold winters night and puts it into bed without me knowing and it is lovely and warm when I get in. He drops me off at work everyday and picks me up even though it is out of his way... the list continues.

I am thankful for my two Dachshunds who bring me great joy every single day with their unconditional love and funny antics.

I am thankful for having a good job in this current climate and that my Managers are flexible about when I want to take time off. I am thankful my Husband also has a stable job and we are able to live in a lovely house.

I am thankful for my family - especially my Mum and my sister who are always there for me.

My list continues....

So why do I just want to skip the next 40 years?? I should be happy. I have nothing really to complain about.

I have thought about this a lot and I am pretty sure the thing that is missing is Passion. With a capital P.
There is nothing in my life that I am truly passionate about - Hobbies, study etc. For example I have always wanted to study but I can never make my mind up what to study.
When I was young there was so many things that I wanted to do. I am not sure what it is but as you get older and you take a rejection or a hit you start to shy away from trying anything new. Somewhere along the way I have become risk adverse or something! (What if I choose the wrong thing to study??? it will be a waste of time and money??? What I have fail??? blah blah blah) I am also a constant worrier and full of anxiety.

I want to take risks, I want to follow things through, I want to give life a go...

I think this is where I am today.