What to do now???

I am at a bit of a loose end this week....
I am a bit of a MasterChef Australia fan - actually I am more of a MasterChef tragic. For pretty much the last three months on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday I have rushed to the TV to watch the newest episode.
Luckily Hubby doesn't mind the show - although he was getting a bit sick of it by the end.
It finished on Monday night and I was almost panicky on Tuesday night thinking "What do I do now??". What am I going to do at 7:30PM Monday through Thursday and once on Sunday? What am I going to do without the mystery box. eek.
It's not like we don't have options - we have pay TV with all the channels, I could read a book, I could work on this blog even!
Thinking back about it I don't think it was so much about the show - really it could have been any show. I think mostly I loved the routine of it.
At 7.30PM after the dinner dishes were done Hubby, our dogs would snuggle on the couch and join George, Matt and Gary and all the contestants for another show which would follow the same pattern every week. I think this is what I am going to miss the most.
Either way they had a cracker of a season ratings wise so I am sure they will be back next year!

Finding Happiness

I have been thinking about whether I take this beautiful gift of life for granted.
"There's always tomorrow" - but perhaps this is not the case.
Do we really have a right not to make the most of everyday??

I am not sure that this is a licence to run out and start living some hedonistic lifestyle like it is the end of the world. But perhaps its a time to take stock of our lives and see how if we are giving priority to things that matter - are we working to hard and perhaps not giving adequate time to our families? are we sweating the little stuff and it's getting in way of our life? are we not giving our health enough attention? or perhaps we are fitness junkies and this is getting in the way of other parts of our lives?

I have always believed in everything in moderation and everything balanced - it seems as soon as we start getting obsessed with something everything else falls by the wayside.
 Not sure that's exactly how I live my life though!

I have also thought about finding joy and happiness and how perhaps we think that is something that will come later in life  - when we do this or that (in my case retire as mentioned in my first post!)
Is that true? can we not find joy and happiness in the everyday?
I have thought back to what has made me happy over the last week....

1. Last week I said to Hubby that I was keen to get out on a Friday night and as I worded it "amongst people" ( I have been spending a few Friday nights at home lately haha) and we did go out - I loved enjoying an espresso martini at a cool bar and sharing some tapas plates with him in another bar. I also liked wandering around the shops and seeing people enjoying the ice skating rink set up in the mall! I loved going into a record shop which was like something from my childhood - they had CD's, band T-shirts and posters - you just don't see shops like that much anymore since ITunes! I even brought a CD for $10 dollars - very cool. It wasn't an expensive night or a late rocking one but I loved it.
2. I had been sick for a couple of weeks and hadn't been able to get to the gym - I didn't realise how much I missed the gym till I got back there. and for the last two weeks I have been back I have felt so strong after my workouts. I may have mentioned that I am keen to run a half-marathon - I have been running this week and have been happy with the outcomes so far. The end of workout has made me feel happy that I have my health and also that I made an effort with fitness when I started a boot camp in 2009. My hubby even said to me "You have a better week when you go to the gym" (please note I am no athlete! I am in no way fast!)
3. I took my puppy for a walk the other day and it made me so happy that he is getting much better walking on a lead - before it was a bit of a struggle but he is really coping with it now - watching him exploring the world and walk around with his tail up in the air is so lovely.
4. Most mornings at work I go with a group of girls to grab a coffee - I love hearing about their day, how they are and also the coffee itself (I am a big fan of coffee!) It is something I always look forward to and makes my work day.
5. Hubby and I are looking at cars at the moment and it makes me happy that our relationship is such that we don't argue over things like that - actually I think we are taking a pretty good approach to it - there was one car that we really loved but it was to expensive. Instead of one of us putting our heels in we are now looking at other options available to us and it really has been quite enjoyable (if not overwhelming lol)

Looking at this list of things has been interesting - they are not huge things, nor are they expensive and they really are just the everyday.
I think it truly is important to take time to reflect on what makes us happy.

What has made you happy in the last week?

Don't Get Me Wrong....

I should start by saying that I don't have a terrible life. Not at all. I am thankful for so many things in my life.

I am thankful for my Husband - we have been married for 11 years now and everyday I am thankful that he chose to marry me! I am really not the easiest person to live with at times.
I am thankful that he has opened up my world to some wonderful experiences - without him I would never thought to travel overseas - before I met him I didn't even own a passport. Travelling the world with him has been awesome.
He also looks after me in many ways - he cooks yummy healthy dinners, and then he even cleans up, he fills my hot water bottle on a cold winters night and puts it into bed without me knowing and it is lovely and warm when I get in. He drops me off at work everyday and picks me up even though it is out of his way... the list continues.

I am thankful for my two Dachshunds who bring me great joy every single day with their unconditional love and funny antics.

I am thankful for having a good job in this current climate and that my Managers are flexible about when I want to take time off. I am thankful my Husband also has a stable job and we are able to live in a lovely house.

I am thankful for my family - especially my Mum and my sister who are always there for me.

My list continues....

So why do I just want to skip the next 40 years?? I should be happy. I have nothing really to complain about.

I have thought about this a lot and I am pretty sure the thing that is missing is Passion. With a capital P.
There is nothing in my life that I am truly passionate about - Hobbies, study etc. For example I have always wanted to study but I can never make my mind up what to study.
When I was young there was so many things that I wanted to do. I am not sure what it is but as you get older and you take a rejection or a hit you start to shy away from trying anything new. Somewhere along the way I have become risk adverse or something! (What if I choose the wrong thing to study??? it will be a waste of time and money??? What I have fail??? blah blah blah) I am also a constant worrier and full of anxiety.

I want to take risks, I want to follow things through, I want to give life a go...

I think this is where I am today.

Light Bulb Moment

I had a light bulb moment a couple of months ago.... (Like an Oprah A-ha moment??) I am still tossing up whether it is a good light bulb moment or a bad one.
It all came about when I was talking to my Husband and the following words came out of my mouth "I wish I could just skip the next 40 years" pause "And just be able to retire"
It was probably one of the scariest things I could ever say - for a start because of my age- I had just turned 33 and I am effectively saying that I want to write off the next 40 years of my life.
I should be in the prime of my life at 33 - living life to my fullest.
Yet these words have crossed my mind more then once....
Consequently it was around this time that I joined the local library. I browsed the books and picked up 100 things by Sebastian Terry. I'd read a story about Seb before in a magazine and was pretty intrigued.
Basically after the death of a close friend he realised that he did not want to follow the "normal" pattern of life where you get a great career, marry a girl, buy a house and have a family. He wrote a list of things he wanted to achieve and set off across the world to tick off the items of his list (Some of the items are "Marry a stranger in Vegas", "represent a country at something", "take on a world champion") and has been working on the list to this day. He raises money for charity and even better inspires people to make their own list.
You really should check his site out at http://100things.com.au/. It has inspired me and I believe it has inspired many others.
While reading his book I found myself nodding so many times. I also started to reflect on what would be on my list - and the funny thing is that I have things that I have always wanted to do but never done.... for one reason or another.
First thing that sprung to mind was that I wanted to start a blog. I had one failed attempt at a blog in 2010 - I think the idea was terrific - but I only ever wrote one post...
A second thing I have wanted to do since I started to do fun runs is train for a half marathon - haven't started yet!
I have always wanted to do singing lessons - another thing I have not yet done. And the list continues. So I thought perhaps this could be something to bring me back to life... because I do not want to write off the next 40 years of my life...
This blog (hopefully more then one post) will follow my giving life a go and perhaps figuring out why those words came out of my mouth in the first place.